Rednecks have got it all figured out by turning their greatest weakness into their greatest strength. If you use “redneck” as an insult, they’ll take it as a source of pride.
And in keeping with this group doublethink, this should mean that any further revelations of redneck culture to be crude and inferior will act to strengthen redneck culture and increase redneck pride.
So for these people who have appropriated their own ignorance as their greatest pride, it must be made known that there is no difference between a demolition derby and a stock car race. One is a celebration of destruction, while the latter is a celebration of performance, but whatever—they’re the same thing to their appreciative audiences,
That’s according to Destruction Derby 2 (1997), a game smart enough to making both modes available to play in the same game. And while they have different goals, be they to become the last man standing or the first one past the checkered flag, the key to success to both these motorsports remains the same: cause your opponents to crash and keep driving fast.
This is, frankly, a relief to us cultural outsiders who have had to refrain from pointing out that stock car racing is just an excuse to watch car crashes, making it a demolition derby you have to politely wait to happen. Now that this game sets the record straight by establishing a corollary from one to the other, we can all respect rednecks as the simple car crash enthusiasts they are.
Unlike the reward system in Burnout where players are given high-octane fuel for doing incredibly stupid/dangerous/fun things such as driving in oncoming traffic and narrowly avoiding collisions, Destruction Derby 2 provides no such videogame mechanics. Instead, it follows the simple rule of smash or be smashed, making this a life-like facsimile of what racing would be like if it completely complied with the wishes of its fans.
Yes, in the idealized world of the redneck, drivers of crashed cars don’t receive immediate medical treatment. Instead, the husks of these battered cars litter the race track as the poignant reminders of their failure, while also serving as obstacles you need to avoid crashing into. This way, these useless wrecks improve race conditions for the remaining drivers—for more crashes, of course.
Redneck culture is truly an enlightened culture, and to help the player accept this irredeemable fact, Destruction Derby 2 provides a commentator whose role is never made clear. However, this isn’t an announcer who calls the entire race, and it doesn’t represent the player, who can be several different people in the game. Instead, this person reacts to whatever you do as though they are with you in your car, sitting behind you, being a jerk.
And so in keeping with the proud culture of rednecks, Destruction Derby 2 has provided a backseat driver to help the player by saying simple suggestions and observations like “Hey, watch it!” and “Yeeaaahh!” to every move you make. And to especially helpful, the makers of Destruction Derby 2 have made it so you can’t mute this voice without turning off the sound to the game completely.
Destruction Derby 2 is a wholehearted affirmation of redneck culture. The obvious next step is to develop a redneck interactive fiction video that celebrates ethnic diversity by pointing out all the “funny ways them foreigners is strange” with branching story paths that always trace their way back to the same tree trunk.
How far I got an hour: I almost completed a championship course
The good: It’s a compelling way to race, that’s for sure
The bad: Things don’t blow up, least of all in a “blowed up real good” way
Would I play this game once this year is over: Yeee-haw! This is more fun than a letting a jackrabbit and a possum duke it out for the turnip in my pants
Days so far in the Year of the Play-a-DayStation: 30
Play-a-Daystation 